


Can you see me now

by swallowthewhale



Series: Killervibe Week [20]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Killervibe Week, Killervibe Week 2019, Past Ronnie Raymond/Caitlin Snow, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-23 21:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20347360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: The one where you have a compass on your body that leads you to your soulmate.Killervibe Week 2019: Soulmates





	Can you see me now

When Ronnie dies, the slim black compass needle on Caitlin’s skin goes still, pointing forever in the direction Ronnie was at the moment of the explosion. It fades over time, until it’s just barely visible. Caitlin can’t bear to look at the reminder of the loss of her soulmate, so she covers it up, the way she had before she’d met Ronnie. There’s no one else to notice it, anyway. Cisco and Dr. Wells know what happened, and Barry hasn’t woken up from the coma yet. Caitlin learns to ignore it so well that she doesn’t even notice when a new line appears two years later, as dark as Ronnie’s line used to be, spinning around on her wrist to point to her new soulmate.

* * *

Cisco hops around his apartment frantically, tossing the pile of blankets off the couch, and sweeping the stack of unopened mail into a drawer. It’s silly to still be so worried about what Caitlin thinks about the cleanliness of his apartment, since she’d been the one to clean it when Cisco was mourning his brother, but Caitlin loves tidiness and he knows she won’t be able to resist picking things up if it’s not neat. Of course, Cisco is rushing since Caitlin always arrives exactly on time and he’s got two minutes left to change his shirt, which he’d spilled sauce on, and switch the ratty blanket Cisco usually uses on the couch to the nice new one he’d bought a month ago on a whim because they’d seen it in a store and Caitlin had barely been able to walk away without buying it herself. Cisco fully intends to buy another for her at Christmas so she doesn’t walk off with his one day.

Caitlin knocks on the door at precisely six, even though she has a key to let herself in, and even though Cisco always leaves the door unlocked when he knows she’s coming over.

He opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Caitlin chirps, smiling. She hands him the tray she was carrying after he closes the door so she can take off her coat.

“Mmm,” Cisco says, peeking under the foil. “What’d you make?”

“Spiced apple cake with cream cheese frosting.” Caitlin slips her shoes off and lines the up by the door. “In the spirit of autumn.”

“Yum.” Cisco puts the tray in the kitchen. “I can’t wait.”

Caitlin looks over his shoulder while he stirs his sauce. “What’s for dinner?”

“Espaghetti,” Cisco says with a ridiculous Italian accent. “And garlic bread. Speaking of which…” He pulls the bread out of the oven to slice. “Let’s eat!”

Caitlin sets the table while Cisco serves in a well-choreographed dance, then clean up after they eat in a similar manner, making idle conversation about work and the news. 

“It’s your turn to pick a movie,” Caitlin reminds Cisco as she washes her hands. “What do you want to watch?”

“What?” Cisco says. “No, it’s your pick.”

Caitlin glares at him. “It’s not. I picked _Me Before You _last week, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Cisco studiously avoids Caitlin’s eyes. “It’s okay, you can go again.”

“Cisco,” Caitlin says firmly. “I don’t want a pity pick because it’s my wedding anniversary.”

Cisco squirms. “But, Cait.”

“Nope. Go on, pick one of your ridiculous action movies.” Caitlin flicks the towel at him before hanging back up and going to sit on the couch.

Cisco wastes a little time by carefully wiping down the counter, but then can’t avoid it any more and turns on the TV, picking the first mindless action movie he comes across.

It is a ridiculous movie, with a crazy convoluted plot and a standard romantic subplot. It’s not until the last twenty minutes that Cisco realizes he’s made a terrible mistake. The twist in the romantic subplot is that they’re both second soulmates.

Caitlin cries silently, probably hoping Cisco won’t notice. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she tucks her face into his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t know.”

Caitlin shakes her head, but doesn’t stop crying.

Cisco pulls her in closer, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “Ronnie would have hated this movie,” he says quietly. “He would have been throwing things at the TV every time they ignored a huge plot hole. And we never would have heard the end of that made-up science fix they used at the end.”

Caitlin sniffles. “It was really bad.”

He strokes her hair. “I can’t believe it’s been two years. I still feel like I’m going to turn around the corner in Star Labs and see him.”

Caitlin’s not crying anymore, but she doesn’t move from her spot. “I go up to his office sometimes,” she admits. “I always mean to go to the break room, but I just end up there.”

“I bet he still has candy hidden away in his drawers.”

Caitlin giggles.

“Dude had, like, a five year supply.”

“I think I’ve found most of it,” Caitlin says. “Unless he had hiding spots I didn’t know about.”

“He definitely did,” Cisco says. “I helped him since you kept stealing all his candy.”

“I did not!” Caitlin protests, then deflates. “Well, I guess I am now.”

Cisco rubs her arm soothingly.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, watching the end credits scroll down the screen.

Then Caitlin asks tentatively. “Cisco, do you know who your soulmate is?”

He stiffens a little. “Yes.”

Caitlin chews on her lip. “If you know…”

“Because they already have a soulmate,” Cisco says softly. “And it’s not me.”

Caitlin worms her arms around his stomach and squeezes. “Cisco.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “I’m okay.”

“But still,” Caitlin says, continuing to hold him tightly.

“I’ve known for a long time,” Cisco says, hugging her back. “And I promise it’s okay.”

“Do you think you might get a second soulmate?” Caitlin asks.

He shrugs. “No. Do you?”

“Think you’ll get a second?”

“Think _you’ll_ get a second,” Cisco corrects.

Caitlin sighs. “I don’t even know if I want one.”

There are stories, of course, rumors and legends and romance novels about second soulmates. About finding love again after losing your soulmate. About moving on. Caitlin used to love reading those stories, but it’s much more difficult to believe it could happen to her now.

“Why?”

Caitlin turns to bring her knees up against Cisco’s thighs to relieve the pressure on her back. “I guess I feel like I would be betraying Ronnie, or his memory, or something. Like, if I have a second soulmate, then what I had with Ronnie wasn’t as special.”

Cisco thinks for a moment, thumb rubbing unconsciously on Caitlin’s arm. “I think that Ronnie would want you to be happy. If that means a second soulmate, then he would want that for you, if it means no soulmate, then that’s okay.”

“What is happy, anyway?” Caitlin asks sulkily.

“You’ll find it,” Cisco says confidently. “A little at a time.”

Caitlin smiles. Cisco’s right, and she’s already found a little bit of happiness, here with him.

* * *

Cisco rips open the breach desperately, stumbling through it into the desk in the Cortex. Iris jumps to her feet to sling Cisco’s arm around her shoulders as he sags against her. 

“Caitlin!” Iris yells. “We need some help in here!”

She helps Cisco into a chair, quickly taking note of the worst of it. Burns on his arms, a gash across his leg, some small cuts and bruises. And no band on his wrist covering his soul mark. Iris presses a towel against the gash on his leg, looking at it out of the corner of her eye. Cisco has always meticulously kept his soul mark covered, even when every thing else was disheveled from a long night in the lab or a workout with Barry. 

Iris watches the arrow swings around as Caitlin rushes into the cortex. Iris raises an eyebrow. Interesting. Barry owes her twenty bucks.

She helps Caitlin get Cisco onto the cot in the med bay, then switches out the towel for a gauze pad, pressing more firmly. Caitlin is all calm professional, even though Iris can clearly see the panic in her eyes. She cuts away the fabric around the gash on Cisco’s leg, ignoring Cisco bemoaning the loss of his pants.

“They were ruined anyway,” she says tartly, cleaning up the cut, proclaiming it doesn’t need stitches, then taping gauze down over it.

When she moves on to putting burn ointment on Cisco’s arms, her gaze passes over Cisco’s soul mark and she freezes.

Iris takes the opportunity to slip away, closing the door quietly behind her.

Caitlin smooths ointment onto the burn right above the mark, taking full stock of all the variables. The cloth band he usually uses to cover it must have burned, but there’s no burn under it, so Cisco pulled it off before any damage was done. It’s nearly identical to hers, if a little bigger to fit his bigger wrist. She knows all soul marks look the same. She’d seen both her parents and Ronnie’s, plus lots of others during medical school.

But this one is pointing at her.

“Cisco,” she says quietly after she finishes wrapping the burns loosely in cloth and cleaning up the rest of his cuts. “Your mark.”

Cisco bolts upright, gripping his wrist with his other hand. “Um,” he says.

“You lost your band during the fight?” Caitlin asks, examining his face.

“Yeah, I must’ve.” He removes his hand slowly, looking from the mark to Caitlin’s face, and back to the mark.

Caitlin swallows harshly, feeling nauseous. 

“Weird coincidence,” Cisco jokes, grinning weakly at her.

“Coincidence?” Caitlin asks faintly.

Cisco averts his eyes, wrapping his wrist with gauze in a makeshift covering. “Yeah.”

Caitlin takes a shuddering breath. “Okay, well you should get home and rest. I’ll give you the burn ointment to take with you. You can take ibuprofen, but no lotions or creams. I’ll check on it tomorrow.”

Cisco nods, forces himself to smile at her and slides off the cot. “Thanks.” He limps out of the room to get his stuff and breach home.

Neither of them mention that on any other day, Caitlin would insisted on helping him home and staying the night.

Caitlin drifts out of the med bay after she hears Cisco’s breach open and close outside the door. Iris is still sitting at the computer, talking quietly to Barry on the comms.

She looks up when Caitlin walks out. “Babe, I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“I’m heading home,” Caitlin says, pulling her coat on slowly.

Iris stands up. “Can I drive you home?”

Caitlin doesn’t argue, just follows Iris out to her car silently.

“So,” Iris says halfway to Caitlin’s apartment. “You saw Cisco’s soul mark.”

“Yes,” Caitlin says, forehead pressed against the cool window. “He lost his band during the fight.”

Iris nods, then glances over at Caitlin. “Did you see where it was pointing?” She probes.

Caitlin bites her lip, hard. “It was just a coincidence.”

Iris gives her a very doubtful look that Caitlin doesn’t see. “Do you think it was a coincidence?”

“I don’t know.” Caitlin shifts to look at Iris. “He was acting really weird.”

“I saw it, too.” Iris reaches over and squeezes her hand. “Girl, I am ninety-nine percent sure his mark was pointing at you.”

Caitlin squeezes Iris’ hand back, and they both let the subject drop.

Caitlin pays close attention to Cisco, looking for any sign that he’d been lying and his soul mark was pointing to her. Any awkwardness, any weirdness, any little signs that he’s been secretly in love with her for five years.

But Cisco seems his normal self, bringing her slushies, joking around with Barry, pretending that he’s healed faster than he actually has so he can get back out in the field. Caitlin holds firm on that last one, sternly refusing to let him to go out and glaring Barry down into agreeing with her. Caitlin can’t help but notice, though, that behind the business as usual attitude, Cisco is avoiding her. He refuses several offers of a Jitters run, cancels movie night two weeks in a row, and generally avoids being in the same room as her. He’s still the same old Cisco, just never around Caitlin.

Two weeks later, Caitlin reads an article in the paper about new research on second soulmates and looks at her own soul mark for the first time since Ronnie died. Three weeks later, out of curiosity, Caitlin sits in the med bay, pulls the scarf off her wrist, and tracks Cisco’s movements around the cortex, comparing the two. Four weeks later, Caitlin knocks on Cisco’s door.

Cisco looks uncomfortable. He takes a half-step back, letting the door open, but not quite enough to be an invitation inside. “Caitlin?”

Caitlin steels herself, stomach swirling with nerves. “Can I see your soul mark?”

Cisco pales. “Why?” He asks cautiously.

Instead of responding, Caitlin holds out her own wrist, bare, with a very faint line at a right angle to another line, dark against her pale skin, pointing directly at Cisco.

Cisco’s face goes slack, eyes darting from her face to her wrist. His arm drops from the door and very slowly, he pulls the band off his wrist, holding it out next to Caitlin’s. The two lines, perfectly parallel, don’t waver.

Cisco wraps his hand around her wrist and gently pulls her into the apartment. Caitlin follows, closing the door behind her. 

With his other hand, Cisco traces a finger along Caitlin’s mark. “You have another soulmate,” he whispers.

Caitlin turns his wrist to brush her fingers across his mark. “You are my soulmate,” she corrects, unable to stop herself from smiling.

Cisco matches her smile with his own and cradles her face in his hands, kissing her. Caitlin wraps her arms around his waist to pull him closer.

“I’m your second soulmate,” he murmurs reverently. 

“No,” Caitlin says. 

Cisco’s face falls.

“You’re my soulmate.”

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of squished canon a little to make it work. Ronnie and Caitlin get married earlier and Ronnie dies in the accelerator explosion but doesn't become firestorm.
> 
> Title from "My Love" by Sara Bareilles


End file.
